Christmas Comes to Harrison Yacht Pond
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree. Well thanks, sweetie! The partridge was bit tough but the pear wood will make nice decking for the next boat project.
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. The turtle doves took off as soon as the box was opened, but I put the partridge on the barby this time – it was a little better. Sure hope the doves don’t poop on the sidewalk.
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. I’m getting the hang of cooking partridge, but the French hens got away with the turtle doves. Man, they’re fast.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. These calling birds can sure make a racket! Got the partridge on the rotisserie this time, but the rest of the birds got away again. Some concern about the increasing bird population around the pond.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Isn’t that nice! I should paint the kitchen more often…..
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. More rings are great, but we don’t need any more geese around here, especially pregnant ones! The partridge was ok, but maybe we could just go with hamburgers tomorrow? And the FedEx guy is starting to get a little ticked about having all those birds in his truck.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. These swans are BIG! And if you think a goose can repave the sidewalk in no time, wait ‘til you see these manure generators.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. The maids are kinda cute, but they brought their cows along!!! Forget the swans, these cows must have diarrhea. And they make this mooing sound while they unload so there’s no chance you’ll miss the event. We’re gonna need bigger shovels…… Oh, and FedEx called – they’re sending us a bill for cleaning up their truck.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Am I ever glad I took ballroom dancing lessons!!! But nine of them?? – better call that guy from Riverdance.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Thanks hon, but guys in tights don’t do anything for me…. I really hope these fellows prefer each other’s company over the dancing ladies and milkmaids, if you get my drift. Last thing we need around here is a bunch of baby strollers to trip over. Maybe they can help shovel the sidewalks??
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me eleven pipers piping, ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Now this is good – the seagulls were gone as soon as the first over-inflated sheep’s gut made a sound. Might get the campers out of the bushes, too! FedEx wants us to pay for the driver’s hearing aid…. Sorry, pal.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five gold rings, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, it had to happen. City Parks wants us to install toilets next to our table because there’s so many people hanging ‘round. We’re being fined for producing milk without approval from the Milk Board, and Immigration has scheduled a refugee hearing for the French hens. Two of our members are down with food poisoning from the barbeque sauce, FedEx is really unhappy and the James Bay Residents Association has complained about the pipe band. The next lord that passes overhead while I’m up to my knees in partridge/turtle dove/French hen/calling bird/goose/swan/cow manure is going to get a shot from my home made Taser – then we’ll see some leaping!
The worst part is that I’m going to have to smile and say how much I liked my present this year, just like the socks I got last year!!!!
The new President can deal with this mess…. I’m going dancing with the ladies!
Merry Christmas